5 days to pros

and i'm sitting here stuck with my butt firmly vegetating on the cold marble floor, watching DEATH NOTE 2!!!!????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!


oh gosh.

i am going to perish in the coming exams in about the same way as everyone else did in the show.

due to the astoundingly great hype when death note was first released to the big screens in 2003, and subsequently its world-conquering stance when its sequel, death note 2 hit the same awed and stunned screens 3 years later, i decided that any self-respecting heretic (like me) ought to condemn the series, snub it for all it's worth (which is quite a lot - it even has a wikipedia entry! lolx) and declare myself too ostentatiously superior to the asinine intelligence of the series' writers and actors etc etc to warrant a waste of 3 hours of my life watching this.

man, am i totally eating my words.

i am falling in love with ryuzuki. i have this strange, inexplicable penchant for loner, weird, hunchbacked and TB-carrier-looking men. i probably need some psychotherapy... but man. looking at how the world accepted him when he first came on, i guess i'm not that weird compared to how RETARDED i am to have taken so long to realise he's actually quite a likeable character.

quite likeable?????

ah man, he's totally heartbreaking. too bad he had to die... but it was a pretty good way to go. nice and humane... not that we'd like anyone to die (certainly not our acquaintances, and i'm sure even the least of us feels a pang of regret and pity for any poor victim of sudden, or unexpected death in the news) but the fact remains that humans, being BIOS (see: CS Lewis, mere christianity, published 1996) cannot be immortal physically. so if we all have to die, whether we like it or not (and queer you are if you do)... i'd rather we all had the power within ourselves to grant everyone a quiet, dignified death. not thrashing, struggling, gasping, soiling oneself, bleeding copiously, or gradually losing control of one's faculties in that final few minutes. which is terribly, and sadly, true for so many poor people even today. shootings, accidents, infarctions, strokes... varied are the causes of death in Man, but the final leer of the devil is the same and equally chilling regardless of the way one passes from this world. but i guess we could add a bit of sourness to his smirk if we could choose to pass with dignity, rather than be lost to the insane sadistic desires of Satan to see us suffer as we relinquish our lives.

ah, then again, we could just WIPE the smirk off his face if we believe we're going to an infinitely better place. somewhere, even if we DID lose our continence in the last moments, that he could never go. which leaves him shrieking in eternal anguish in his little cove of hot coals. and we'd have the final laugh..... even as we cleaned ourselves up in Heaven.

and back to death note. yes. i'm not sure i'm for euthanasia, but i'm sure i'm against taking justice into our own hands and appointing ourselves God over our fellow Man. that's warped ethics... when you're just clinging on to the authority because you COULD, not because you would. and eventually it all becomes a point that you HAD TO, for survival. and death for yourself just becomes a drawn out agony, far more so for you than for the others that you've terminated, because the anesthesia provided in the megalomania tells you you've the right to judge, even as your own judgment creeps up on you and erodes you from your feet up. it's more painful to admit surrender for a person who's always thought he was right.

that said, i've never thought i'd see sudden cardiac arrest so poignant on the big screens. until today.

ah.

back to the grind. 5 days to pros.




i am falling in love with ryuzuki.