shaddup i'm busy

i'm busy.

too busy.

no time to blog. why am i blogging. shoo. stop blogging. girl u have NO TIME TO BLOG.

urgh. don't even have time to wipe shit.

angsty times like these, i really wished i didn't have an implorably hilarious allergy to coffee. then i could take a long swig of the black bitter brew, act cool, and pretend that my hair isn't falling apart in 3 places along each shaft from the immense stress of being a student amidst elite, overachieving, cutthroat competitive, GOSHdamned tactless people. yes.

not that i'm not one myself. but at least i PRETEND to be nice. hello. i sometimes even press the lift for those imbeciles.

my life is quite shit. haha. why the hell am i laughing mirthlessly so much nowadays???

anyway i retract the self confession (oxymoron or redundancy - confession involves self revelation. mental note to self to stop rambling.) about being an overachieving bastard. i'm so not overachieving. i'm underachieving. i am nowhere near the quotas of night calls, writeups, and case exposures. which brings me back to the my life is shit part, but ad nauseum etc etc so i shan't sit on this crap too long lest it goes back up my butt. those people who are 75% there already and still want to fight (selfishly, may i add) with those who haven't got enough cases to wipe their mouths with, can u please go and drink some malaena. i'm so sick and tired of standing there with my arms crossed, looking on at people trying to outdo the shit out of each other when everyone except me is already beyond beyond the requirements. i have no right to say, oh shit man, just meet the most basic requirements and chill. fine by me if u want to make urself cushingoid and constipated with all the cortisol-releasing stress... just don't infect me with the disgustingly dark, gelatinous, and downright contagious panic that enshrouds all of u. hah. i dunno what the hell is wrong with us locals. we have to dig the deepest bottom of the bowl and get the last morsel even if it's the world's least relevant, valuable morsel. it's the "if i don't have what u have i'm GOSHdamned shitted and condemned and a bloody failure so OUT OF MY WAY u bastard and let me have at the last bit of info/CD/notes/senior's tips even though it's bloody useless." mentality. hello. like, chill man. what the hell. knowing that the patient has like 1 more episode of diarrhea ahead of ur other peers is NOT going to determine if u pass or fail. and by that i'm referring to this module, not even the whole surgical thingy. so HELLO CHILL. which part of that trisyllabic advice do u not understand. sigh. i've already given up counting how many times people have been asking me for photocopy rights to some random piece of notes or something with extremely, no make that precariously and exceedingly hypocritically, thinly veiled interest. and on almost all the occasions, the notes end up unused. everyone eventually agrees that it's the world's most useless notes. SO WHY THE F*** DID U PANIC ABT PRINTING IT argh! stop printing blindly! it's so bloody irritating! and u're killing the bloody trees. (that's a sidepoint. but yeah i hear the environmentalists shake their biodegradable posters.) okay. i've finished ranting.

it's time to sleep man. i'm so bloody worn out, tired and exhausted and i am so sick and tired of the human facade. everyone's just trying to run each other into the ground. i don't understand. the sky's big enough to accomodate all of us what. what the hell is the point of sadistically killing off ur fellow pilot... when there's the option of mutual benefit? and yeah. like jess said, what on earth is the problem with 2 people doing the same thing? eventually we all come up with unique, individualized opinions and approaches to the same question so stop being anal and posessive about the cases larh.

i am so going to have to lock this post up.

or my butt will be sued and kicked bloody steaming from here to the other end of saturn.

shit.

okay. i don't mean to be incendiary or to offend anyone. (too late, but i'm sincere.) i'm just frustrated, okay? i hate working with competitive people. no competition = no improvement but but but i think there's such a thing called EXCESS. moderation is key man! too much of a good thing and everyone gets cancer and stroke and AMIs and GOSH knows what else. why the hell can't we all be NICE people. like, genuinely nice. not nice only when the other person has a bloody rare case or some more useless notes. shit man. if i had my way we'd all be FORCED to be nice, share ALL our cases, and STOP THE BLOODY FIGHTING. my hair wouldn't drop so much then. urgh.

time to sleep.

ma cherie, bring me out to watch a yangtze movie, and i'll challenge u to 3 jugs of beer.
pambam, the spam party is CONFIRMED ON. i can't think of anything more asinine and relaxing from this shit than eating spam in its various gloriously fatty versions and photowhoring. haha!
and korneh, PARTYTIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!! congrats gal. see ya at cf next tues. tml i have night call :P